You might just be a Canadian
Written by Mike Cheliak on April 30, 2009 – 7:20 pm -
I would first of all like to acknowledge the comedy genius of Jeff Foxworthy. It is his Redneck inspiration that brought me to do this post. Without his down to earth comedic ability to poke fun at himself; this little line of quips wouldn’t be here!
If you map your route based on the location of the nearest Tim’s…you just might be a Canadian
If Poutine (Poo-Teen) doesn’t mean a teenager going for a dump…you just might be a Canadian
If you know how to speak Frenglish…you just might be a Canadian
If Don Cherry is your Canadian Idol…You ARE a Canadian
If you need rehab from July-September because Hockey Night in Canada isn’t on…you just might be a Canadian
If your alphabet begins with Eh and ends with Gee…you just might be a Canadian
If Walleye is the other white meat…you just might be a Canadian
If you have seen mosquitoes larger than a Chihuahua…you just might be a Canadian
If Lenny Kravitz singing American Woman was considered sacrilegious…you just might be a Canadian
If you don’t EVER put ICE before hockey in a sentence…you just might be a Canadian
If Dr. J means Jarome Igninla…you just might be a Canadian (or at least a Calgarian)
If you drink coffee with beer so you can drink more…you just might be a Canadian
If you have ever eaten Cod Cheeks or tongues…you just might be a Canadian
If a Beaver Tail means a nice hot sugar glazed treat…you just might be a Canadian
If you spell the words colour and flavour like this…you just might be a Canadian
If you actually know the Capitals of all the Provinces…you just might be a Canadian
If you actually know the Capitals of all the States…you just might be a Canadian
If you Bow and say we are not worthy when someone says Guess Who…you just might be a Canadian
If you consider the Hockey Hall of Fame the Centre of your Universe…you just might be a Canadian
If you really do dig Anne Murray…you just might be a Canadian
If the last thing you pack and the first thing you unload on a camping trip is the beer…you just might be a Canadian
If you have ever had a bag of nuts thrown at you on a flight from Halifax to Vancouver…you just might be a Canadian
If you have ever tipped a cow…you just might be a Canadian
If the May Two Four weekend is just an excuse to drink a Two Four…you just might be a Canadian
I hope you Canucks out there enjoyed this little look in the mirror and I also hope our American friends can now see why we should be the most feared threat on the planet…we give no quarter…we take no hostages…WE…ARE…CANADIAN!
I fun, happiness and health!
Mike C.
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